so today's the first paper for mid-term exam
as I step into class this morning
I felt the tension
the silent-competitive atmosphere
as I went to my place and got my things out ready for the first paper to start
with my name starting with the letter V
I sat at the third last seat in class
looking around at my classmates
they are reading, memorizing, doing practices
and I silently thought to myself:
how in the world am I to top this class?
they are all geniuses
and the way they talk to you
knife dive straight into your heart
they are just too smart
till a sense where they only know how to associate with books
not humans
they will do anything
anything
to achieve good grades
and as I sat at my place in class today
I felt the pressure
the tension I've tried to surepress for so long
rising up
I told myself
no letting go, not now
and so I was quite for the whole day
I don't know what my friends think of me
but I'm really scared
there's just no way
no way in the world
no matter how hard I study
there's just no way I would be able to top the class
so why do I still care?
why can't I let go?
why do I have to keep on strangling myself like this?
Tuesday, May 7, 2013
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