Stressed out

so today's the first paper for mid-term exam
as I step into class this morning
I felt the tension
the silent-competitive atmosphere 

as I went to my place and got my things out ready for the first paper to start
with my name starting with the letter V
I sat at the third last seat in class
looking around at my classmates
they are reading, memorizing, doing practices
and I silently thought to myself:
how in the world am I to top this class?
they are all geniuses
and the way they talk to you
knife dive straight into your heart
they are just too smart
till a sense where they only know how to associate with books
not humans
they will do anything
anything
to achieve good grades

and as I sat at my place in class today
I felt the pressure
the tension I've tried to surepress for so long
rising up
I told myself
no letting go, not now
and so I was quite for the whole day
I don't know what my friends think of me
but I'm really scared
there's just no way
no way in the world
no matter how hard I study
there's just no way I would be able to top the class
so why do I still care?
why can't I let go?
why do I have to keep on strangling myself like this?

Mid-term exam starts tomorrow!!!
I'm so dead ><

All the best people~~~
especially the ones sitting or preparing for exams
Jiayou~!!!
God bless :)
-Veeanna

Reality hits

Reality hits
That I live in Asia
In a country
Where not everyone has the best thinking

Reality hits
That I study in a school
Where there is no rights to the students
Everything goes according to what the teachers say
No debating
No arguing

Reality hits
That we served
As a volunteer
Without rewards without repayment
And this is how we get treated
Not even a chance to speak our minds

I'm tired
Tired of all these unfairness
I will try my best
To become a person who has the influence
The power
To change what's not right

For now
My dear
I'm standing with you
No matter what decision you choose to make
I will be backing you up
Even if it means letting go of what I held on tightly for 4 years

Dear almighty Lord
Help us through this
Bless her with knowledge
Lead and guide her
Let her know the right decision to make
Lord we trust this in Your hands
Lord keep our faith strong
Help us through this
Please Lord.
In Jesus name we pray
Amen.

-Veeanna

Great weekend :)

Hi peeps!! :D

Today is Tuesday,
and I missed the bus home,
again ._.
Thank you Ally, for fetching me :)

So on the Saturday that just passed,
13/4/2013
I went to bestie's house.
Her house is huge~~~
Love the atmosphere in her house x)

So that day we went swimming together again
hehe...
Just love swimming <3

Did you realize there's no end to the pool? :D

After that she went for rehearsal while I stayed home and baked :D

Chocolate chip cookies!!
(believe me it taste better than it looks :x)

This is the first time that I actually like what I baked
Usually it's just people telling me it's nice but I never agree
but this time,
Oh my gosh...I can't stop eating >.<
and my bro likes it so much he doesn't allow anyone else to eat ._.
Friends from school tried and everyone loves it!!
Arhh~~ Happiness ^^
Great recipe this is,
Thank you Jo for giving me the recipe :)

Than on Sunday, 14/4/2013
Fellowship evangelise event.
Thank you Lord for bringing a total of 15 new friends
Glory to God ^^

The event was a success
Even though I didn't join in the organizing of it
(mainly cause there's no need for me to :D)
Still,
Praise and Glory to God for the success :)

It's 2 more weeks till mid-year exam
nontheless,
I'm scared /.\
Hope the hard work pays off ><
Lord please lead me through.

All the best in life!

-Veeanna

Dear almighty Lord,

I pray for my younger brother.

Lord he's been diagnose with HFMD
the doctor says he'll need to be emitted into a hospital if it worsen

Lord please look after him

heal him with your holy hands

take away his burden of suffer

and replace it with joy and peace.

Lord please keep our faith strong

to entirely trust in you

that you have your ways and plans

We may not understand

but keep our faith strong that your doing is always on time

Lord I trust my younger brother in your hands

In Jesus's name I pray
Amen.

-Veeanna

朋友

还记得以往的假期
我们都会相约去看电影
逛街
吃好吃的东西
还记得吗？

明白
补习时间排得好紧
没时间一起看戏
吃午餐
没时间留给彼此
这是你们对我说的

可是
你们还是去看了电影
逛街
吃好吃的东西
只是
身边的人不一样了

不明白
那坚固的友情呢？
以往聊不完的话题呢？
注重学业就无法留时间给彼此？
那3年建立起的友情
是这么脆弱的吗？

累了
走一步算一步吧

感谢神
身边还有她的陪伴
没完没了谈天说地
每晚11点没事也上面子书
纯粹是要看你有没有在线
十之八九你是在的
除了周末 :3

每晚你都会叫我早点睡
可是你自己却是个夜猫子 xD
半夜3，4点还是不肯休息
每晚熬夜读书
成绩好得让人羡慕 ><

谢谢你昨晚陪我熬夜
让我在寂静的夜晚写作文
脸上还是挂着笑容
和你谈着无关痛痒的话题

谢谢你的分享
让我接触了许多好美的音乐
动听的歌声

谢谢你愿意让我听你唱歌
虽然你不承认
但说实话
你的歌声真的很好听 :)

谢谢你一次又一次的叮咛
要我早点睡
别伤害健康

谢谢你不停地提醒
无论处境再怎么黑暗
相信神一定会带领
恒切地祷告
耐心等候上帝的时间

谢谢你
愿意陪在我身边 <3 

-Veeanna

失望却不能说出口
When will I ever learn to not expect from people?
I thought I meant something to them...

Librarian Kursus Asas 2013 / Bonding time

Yesterday was Librarian board's kursus asas

A must have event every year :D

3 years back when I was form one

I went as a junior who's going to learn.

This year I went as a senior

To teach :)

We have 7 main groups which work together to make the library work

so one by one the seniors went to talk about their group

After I finished with mine

it's lunch time~~

The juniors were very happy to see food xD

after lunch it's time to teach the juniors to wrap books.

I'm not involved in it

So I went to multimedia room and talked to my juniors

who are currently in Form 2

The ones I talked about in my last post

They are awesome!

And so much like myself back then :3

They were rushing to finish up with making library cards for the new students

so while we're doing it we talked.

They told me about the problems they are facing

and interesting situations they encountered.

I shared my experience on dealing with problems

and some of my own interesting encounters in the library.

It was a great bonding time with them

and I really enjoyed talking to them

We just have something that connected

there was non-stop laughter coming from the room 

They have great potential in being a leader

I wish them all the best in everything

and I hope that the friendship between us

will blossom from junior senior relationship

to great friends :)

-Veeanna

Once a librarian, Always a librarian

I stayed in school till 6.30pm today
After co-curricular activity ended,
I stayed in the library to study for the whole afternoon
The afternoon session students were having their lesson
And I can hear the occasional squeak of chairs as there are classroom directly above the library

At 3.30pm the bell signals the start of recess.
As a senior librarian myself
I know that this means the juniors will be down soon to be on duty
One by one the juniors came
Singed in and went to their respective places to do their duty

From where I was sitting
I face the door of the library
At the table beside me
The afternoon session librarian board president and secretary is interviewing a form 1 student who wish to be a librarian
Listening to their interview
I realize how the juniors have grown and bloom
The way they interview the student is so professional
The questions asked were inspiring too
As a senior myself, who was once the vice president in the afternoon session
Never thought of asking those questions
I was amazed

The bell ring again and it signals the end of recess.
The students and librarians went back to class except a few
Who has responsibilities to fulfill
Ketua pinjaman and her penolong
Started to do their work turning off the computers at the check in and out counter
Ketua multimedia
Turned off every computer in the multimedia room and made sure all the plugs are unplugged
Ketua kebersihan
Making sure the library is clean, tables and chairs arranged nicely
They worked efficiently
The job so well known in their hearts I'm sure they can work even with their eyes closed.

Looking at them
I see the shadow of myself and my fellow librarians
Back then when we were form 2
That was what we did too
Every school day
For a whole year

The library was like our bedroom
At a home call school.
The special place where we go when we're super hyper to find friends to share something
or when we just want a quite place to think.

It was the place where I go to first everyday when I reach school
And the last before I leave.
It was an awesome year spent in the library
It's almost like we own the place :D

Everyday of that year
After recess me and my partner, the president have to make sure the library is closed for the day
And lock the door.
We'll always be late for class
Cause it takes time to check the whole library.
I remember the times where we got scolded by our teachers cause of being late to class
Not once
But almost everyday for the first month of the year
The teachers never understood that we have responsibilities to fulfill
No matter how much we explain.
That was how I got my first discipline file record too :3

And the time where we celebrated Chinese New Year together
As the family of librarian
We even made a huge card for our seniors
For they were the ones who taught and matured us

There was even once when me and the president was making sure the library is ready to be closed
We encountered a really creepy situation
Until today we still aren't sure if it was just an coincidence or our muff
or is it really a ghost or some supernatural thing

Back in the library
They are done with their duties
The president asked if I want to stay in the library or she'll lock the door now
I told her I'll stay and I'll lock the door before I leave later.

I watch as they leave the library
Talking to each other
The bond so strong
Just like what i had back then with my fellow librarians :)

The memories and scenes are still vivid in my mind
Time went by so fast
I'll be leaving high school next year
But the lessons and memories from the library
Will never be forgotten

Once a librarian, always a librarian.

-Veeanna

It's 5 days till exam
I'm feeling stressed out.
So much to cover...

Dear Lord,
please provide me with strength and wisdom
to study and prepare for the exam.
Lord please keep my faith strong that
You'll be by my side leading me along the way,

In Jesus's name I pray
Amen.

But I will sing of Your strength, 

in the morning I will sing of Your love; 

for You are my fortress, 

my refuge in times of trouble. - Psalms 59:16

学姐的祝福

学校开学啦~
农历新年假期结束了，
是时候用工读书，
准备面对3月份的考试。
还有两个星期 ><

话说回来，
今天早上，
学姐给了我一封红包
＂什么来的？＂
＂待会儿你开来看。＂
短短的两句话我们就进入礼堂
各自到自己的班级队伍去。
好奇心强的我迫不及待的马上打开来看。
里面放了一封信。
里头写满了学姐的祝福
这是学姐最后一年在中学了
真舍不得学长们离开

最近，
我的情绪有如过山车
在网络上也发泄了不少
无论是亲情，友情，课业
我一直以来都不是什么风云人物
本以为不会有人关注我在面子书写的东西
怎知平时和我交情不特深的学姐
却是一字一句看在眼里

学姐，
你的祝福我收到了
你对我的关心我也体会到了
一直以来
你都是愿意听我诉苦的
两年前，
面对友情的挑战
也是你
一直愿意听我无限次的重复那段我放不开的回忆
希望在你毕业之前
我们可以拥有更多与彼此的回忆

在这里
我也要祝学姐
新年快乐
学业进步
要继续努力加油
正面的影响你身边的人
就像当年傻傻的我
被你教导成长一样。
毕业后要保持联络哦 :)

The Mask

This is not a poem from me,

but it's really nicely composed so I would like to share it out

It may apply to your life,

and I find it suits me at times :)

© Kasi

I’m great, fine, spectacular. In a way

I relish every night, and I live every day.

I live, I laugh, I write, I sing,

I wonder what the new days will bring.

Then I get home, and I take off the mask.

The day, and almost impossible task,

Is finally over, and so I lie Down,

and wait patiently for the day that I die.

I cry, I scream, I bawl, and sleep,

even though I have promises to keep.

I wait, and wonder, and cry some more,

And I ache and burn from my very core.

Then, I’m not alone, and the mask reappears:

Out goes the grief, pain and all of the tears,

As I am a happy person, cheerful all the day.

A world full of rainbow, not one shade of grey.

Of course I’m not okay, I’m not fine,

No matter how much I seem to shine.

I don’t even know why I feel this...

Why my existence is one long, endless abyss.

But it is, and will be, so I cling to life,

As one day I might slip, and end it with a knife.

But, I’m still here, no matter what my dreams might say

And I hope that one day I will actually be okay.

To anyone out there who feels this way
I sincerely hope that one day,
you will be okay.
And I pray that one day you'll allow God into you life
and let Him make everything okay :)

What happened to me.....?